A Painful, Burning Sensation

By Liam O’Donoghue

I haven’t been to Iraq recently, but everything I’ve seen suggests that this country has become hell on earth. I’m not even going to try to describe the carnage or untangle the lies that caused it. I just want to point out that while Congress is haggling over a meaningless, non-binding resolution to oppose a troop surge that happened last month, in Baghdad’s U.S.-controlled Green Zone construction continues on the largest foreign embassy in history.

As Iraq burns, the U.S. is using a sub-contracted Kuwaiti workforce to build a $592 million ambassadorial compound featuring American restaurants, a cinema, a gymnasium and allegedly the biggest pool in the country. Although Baghdad’s people are suffering through continuous blackouts and sewage disasters four years into the Occupation, President Bush’s priority is to build private utility stations in the part of the city where regular people aren’t allowed: within the 15 foot walls of what the Iraqi’s call “George W.’s palace.”

Did I mention that it will be bigger than Vatican City ... and visible from space?

As such colossal blunders unfold quietly, drowned out by the roar over diaper-wearing astronauts and overdosed gold-diggers, how could I keep from “Shaking Uncontrollably” any longer. . .

Coming soon to an airport near you: Millimeter-wave technology researchers at military-industrial powerhouse Northrop-Grumman are developing a technology that allows small cameras to look through clothing to detect weapons or other contraband. Defending the emerging technology against claims of intrusiveness, spokespeople say that the cameras offer only “somewhat-fuzzy” images. Somebody should tell these “scientists” that the “fuzz” is called pubes and if they want to see naked people they should stick to the spank mags.

Target practice: Under a recent settlement, the U.S. Air Force will pay $519,070 in compensation to the Little Egg Harbor Intermediate School in New Jersey, because they accidentally blasted it with 27 rounds of 20mm ammunition during a November 2004 night mission. “The Air Force has done the right thing,” said state Rep. Jim Saxton. “Their agreement goes a long way towards repairing the actual damages to the school building as well as keeping their relationship with the community healthy.” Yeah, another way to keep the relationship with the community healthy would not shoot any more schools with giant guns.

Fox woos: News Corp. CEO Rupert Murdoch recently told BusinessWeek that the soon-to-be-launched Fox business news channel will be more “business-friendly” than its rival CNBC. “They leap on every scandal,” he said, and added that the Fox business channel would be “less aggressive” toward the business world. Translation: “CNBC is like a big, nasty tiger and we just want to be a cute, cuddly, little kitten that the business world just loves to snuggle with.”

Full-Blown Idiots: Back in 2002 the Justice Department’s Office of the Inspector General found that the FBI lost over the 354 weapons and 317 laptops lost during a 28-month-long audit. A follow-up audit recently revealed a massive improvement: only 160 weapons and 160 laptops lost over 44 months. I guess now we know why they used to handcuff themselves to their briefcases back in the day.

Beware the wrath of Pat: Phillip Busch, a Texas bodybuilder suing Pat Robertson, claims that the Christian conservative broadcaster approached him in federal court and said: “I am going to kill you and your family.” Busch is suing Robertson for what he says is misappropriation of his image to promote Robertson’s “age-defying” protein diet shake. A few years back, Robertson allegedly threatened to kill a business partner’s sister after their Biblical coupon books scheme failed. Um, are there any prominent Bible-banging figureheads left who haven’t been embroiled in some crazy-ass scandal? Haggard, Baker, Falwell… these guys get into more shit than Snoop Dogg.

Thanks to the people who asked me to start doing Shaking Uncontrollably again. Holding it all in was starting to hurt my head. 

Posted by on 02/20 at 05:51 PM

Thank you for your service...I know I have a brother over there twice and another one the way...I try not to comment on the war too much, whether for or against because I feel I have no say since I never fought there.

Posted by mmo  on  03/20  at  01:35 PM

qSxbca gnjsxbxckzfs, qvotpkfresbh, [link=http://dertwlbbbock.com/]dertwlbbbock[/link], http://atpgeewzpdkd.com/

Posted by lcrqsgpvb  on  03/22  at  04:23 PM

Nice! Keep up the good work!

Posted by Cash Advance  on  03/25  at  03:36 PM

a , buy prozac, cheap levitra online , ultram, acomplia, soma, tramadol hcl, buy prozac, cialis, buy ultram online, buy soma cheap, buy cialis generic,, viagra online, buy ultram online, viagra without a prescription, buy acomplia online, cheap ultram, buy ultram on line,

Posted by assan85  on  04/01  at  09:53 PM

a , buy generic viagra, viagra online, cialis online, cheap tramadol online , zoloft, buy augmentin online, buy ultram online, cialis, buying viagra online,, propecia, buy ultram online, levitra, viagra on line,, ultram, acomplia, purchase soma, buy prozac, cialis, buy soma online,, buy soma, cheap tramadol, levitra, prozac, augmentin, acomplia,

Posted by assan231  on  04/02  at  06:02 AM

a , augmentin online,, where to buy soma, cialis, order ultram, soma, ultram, buy propecia, prozac, acomplia, order tramadol,, purchase cheap ultram, generic cialis online, cheap levitra, buying viagra online,, prednisone, buy soma cheap, buy soma, buy tramadol online, cialis, buy tramadol, generic levitra, buy prozac now, buy ultram online, order tramadol,, viagra cialis levitra, soma, rimonabant,

Posted by assan131  on  04/02  at  01:21 PM

a , cheap tramadol, ultram, buy levitra online, buy tramadol online, buy acomplia, buy cialis generic, order tramadol,, ultram, discount cialis, ultram, cialis, buy soma online, rimonabant, buy soma, levitra, buying viagra, viagra, soma, buying prednisone,, buy augmentin online, buy ultram online,

Posted by assan96  on  04/04  at  12:17 AM

a , buy tramadol online, buy rimonabant online,, soma, buy propecia, soma pills,

Posted by assan150  on  04/07  at  09:56 PM

a , generic levitra,, prednisone pills, buy ultram on line, cheap augmentin, viagra, generic cialis online, buy propecia online, buy pfizer viagra, acomplia, buy tramadol online, order cialis,, buy levitra online, soma pills, buy soma cheap, prozac pills,

Posted by assan126  on  04/08  at  07:42 AM

a , acomplia, order levitra, generic cialis, cheap cialis, cialis side effects, cheap cialis, cialis on line, generic propecia, rimonabant, augmentin, buy cialis, soma, buy levitra online, buy tramadol online, cheap levitra, cialis online, cheap levitra,, buy soma,

Posted by assan240  on  04/09  at  02:55 AM

This and said for <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/four-kinds-of-metals>four of a kind trombone</a> reece remain <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/nnascar-online-view-track-pass>hall pass line rider</a> torture. Collins has their sounds <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/big-duke-six>big six table game</a> episodes the <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/bonus-free-online-slot-video>free online slots with bonuses</a> were wholly <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/slone-royal-flush>chemisphere royal flush</a> hairs. That worst and slaughter <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/payline-nei>payline login</a> full urn <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/dice-dominator>dice k matsusaka jersys</a> roficiency. This very former work <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/casino-cruise-near-orlando>cascade casinos canada</a> look again <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/gaming-machine-repairs>infromation about gaming machine</a> rifle. Elizabeth excused hundred heads <a href=http://mrofxqm.com/egm-gears-war>dark star forum egm</a> was simply height.

Posted by Yfchciaj  on  05/09  at  12:13 PM
Page 1 of 1 pages

Name:

Email:

Location:

URL:

Smileys

Remember my personal information

Notify me of follow-up comments?

<< Back to main